The Wars of the Heirs of the Earth

I predict that by mid to late summer the whole world will have divided itself into two opposing factions, the Slapheads and the Longhairs. There will a smaller, breakaway splinter group from the latter, the Bad Haircuts (who espouse a DIY, back-to-nature, everything Homemade philosophy). These two main forces will fight for territory in their given locales, in all parts of the earth, with the third grouping caught in the crossfire, when they are not hiding out. Predictions as to where either party will be more successful remain uncertain, but large movements of population are expected, as people strive to share common living space with those of other nationalities, but the same persuasion. Defections will be easier, for reasons that should be obvious, from Longhairs to Slapheads, perhaps leading to an eventual overall victory for the Baldy-Ones (as they are likely to become known). 

So, Ireland: smooth or hairy? That is the question for the future.